


Love and Obsession

by RachaelGold



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pregnancy but definitely not fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-14 12:24:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20600750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachaelGold/pseuds/RachaelGold
Summary: Post-Endgame, Chakotay's legendary and disastrous love-life continues to plague him back in the Alpha Quadrant and he realises that he has made yet another poor choice in dating Seven. He ends his relationship with her and takes up with Kathryn Janeway. An unstable Seven plots her revenge. She isn't going quietly.I haven't been very kind to Seven's character in this. Seven fans had better stay away.This is the first stuff I've written for six years, but I decided it was time to get it out of my head.Warning: sexual abuse (not described graphically) and ensuing discussion





	1. Chapter 1

"I think I'm dating the wrong woman," Chakotay confessed.

B'Elanna snorted as she shifted the sleeping five month old Miral higher on her shoulder and stretched her legs a little. "You only think you're dating the wrong woman?" she countered incredulously.

Chakotay lifted his eyes miserably. "Alright, I am dating the wrong woman. I know you warned me. I know I didn't listen, but I was enjoying myself...until I began to realise how much a hole someone else's absence from my life has left."

"We are talking about the Admiral, right?"

"Yes. Kathryn's been avoiding me. There was a time when we were such good friends and our relationship held such promise. We never said the words, but there was so much meaning in what was unsaid. We showed how we felt with looks and gestures. I swear it wasn't just my imagination. She's been the better part of me since the day we met. It never appeared to worry her when I had some minor dalliance though, but it plagued the hell out of me when she was interested in someone else. We were always so close and I hate the distance that's come between us ever since I started dating Seven. I miss her like crazy. Did I read her wrong all these years? Did she never care the way I thought she did? Or was her initial indifference to my dating Seven simply self-preservation? Has she said anything to you, B'E?"

"She's hurting alright, although she is loathe to admit it, and I would say she is very far from not caring about you. She probably is avoiding the two of you, but I don't for a second think she'd do anything that would deliberately hurt you or Seven. I doubt she'd come clean even if you challenged her."

"I have challenged her. It didn't go well."

"What happened?"

Chakotay leaned back and thought about the awkward moments they had shared at the annual Charity Ball. For a while, he had tried to be content with Seven. He had told himself that he was over Kathryn and that he was doing exactly the right thing to try to move on. There had been something refreshingly different about dating the young woman, although the novelty had started to wear off very quickly. He had at one time foolishly begun to think he could have it all, Seven as a lover and Kathryn as a friend, but the reality hadn't panned out like that and he had ended up nursing a fair degree of disappointment about it. Then Seven had become increasingly prone to mood swings. She had begun acting like a hormone-infused teenager and he hadn't much cared for that side of her. He was finding her increasingly difficult to deal with.

On the night in question, he and Seven had arrived at the Charity Ball to find the majority of Voyager's senior staff already present. Then reality had hit like a gut punch and he had known in that moment that he couldn't fool himself any longer. Kathryn had arrived on the arm of some puffed-up, suave, but annoyingly handsome ambassador, and she had simply blown his breath away. He was filled with admiration for one and jealousy for the other. Kathryn was looking resplendent in a long red evening gown and he'd had to stifle the gasp that threatened on first seeing her. He was reminded yet again of the aura that seemed to set her apart from every other person in the room. She energised people, captivated them. There was something very magnetic about Kathryn Janeway's personality and it was a little disturbing to be one of the multitude so drawn to her, like bees around a honey pot. Yet he knew that his attraction to her ran far, far deeper. He had a genuine connection with her. There was a time when he would have said that they knew each other inside and out, had been able to read each others' minds.

And in that moment, he also knew that he must try to speak to Kathryn about it or he would regret it for the rest of his life. However, it didn't prove that easy to catch her alone. She had greeted them politely, and perhaps only he could tell that her smile was somewhat forced. She'd introduced him to her partner, Ambassador Will Franklin, perhaps the fifth or sixth man in a list of partners the media had reported her as dating. Then she'd moved on. It was several hours before he'd spotted her slip outside into a walled courtyard to catch a breath of fresh air, and he excused himself to seize the opportunity.

In the darkness of a covered open gallery which flanked the courtyard like a cloister, he caught sight of her sighing. She always found such events tedious...they both did...and often took the opportunity for a moment's time-out.

"Kathryn?"

She half-turned towards him and let out a resigned laugh, as if she had known escape was too good to be true.

"Chakotay."

"How are you?"

"Good, all things considered... a little exhausted from the heat..."

"Taking a breather?"

"Yes."

"It is rather hot in there."

They smiled awkwardly at each other, both understanding the need for a few moments' respite.

"I've missed you!" he confessed.

Her eyes widened. "And I've missed you."

"I've missed you rather a lot, actually, and I want to talk to you about it."

"I'm sure you've been rather too busy with Seven to miss me."

He took a deep breath. He might as well go straight for it. They'd danced around the subject for years, never voicing the words, and he knew that had to change.

"Yes...she has needed a lot of support. But it's you I love. It's you I want to spend the rest of my life with."

The shock registered on her face, even in the dim light.

"You can't be serious."

"I am...deadly serious."

She let out a long breath and turned aside, no longer holding his gaze.

"I can't...I won't...I'd never try to come between you and Seven."

"You already are."

"Then you'd better deal with it...I couldn't do that to either of you."

"And you can't expect me to live a lie either."

"It's your mess, Chakotay. You made your bed and you should lie in it. I sincerely hope you are not stringing Seven along."

"Okay. So I admit I have some sorting out to do. But I need to know what your feelings are for me."

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth for once. I want some honesty here."

"Well I'm not going to dignify your question with an answer. How dare you ask me my feelings after all this time and while you're dating Seven!"

"Come on, Kathryn. Our friendship held such promise. You flirted outrageously with me for years. I can't believe you have never wondered how we'd be together. It's a tragedy we never found out."

She glared at him.

"And now we never will," she admonished. Brushing past him, she took herself off in a huff to the ballroom door.

"Kathryn...Kathryn...wait!" he called.

"Our time has gone and I have nothing more to say!" she responded, low and angry.

"There are no protocols now to stand in our way," he called after her.

"Only the one that says you already have a girlfriend and you chose her over me when we got home. Live with it, Chakotay!" Then she was gone, disappearing back into the throng of merrymakers.

* * *

Chakotay gazed miserably at B'Elanna after recanting his tale, and, reading it in his eyes, she bit back the "I told you so" remark. Kahless, the man was a doofus, but perhaps now wasn't the time to remind him.

"So...she didn't say she didn't love you."

"No, she didn't," he replied, his misery lifting a little. The thought had occurred to him.

"And she would have said it, if she didn't. Because it would have put an end to the conversation once and for all. Kathryn is too generous to lead you on with false hope."

Chakotay glanced up in astonishment. "She did it all the time...on Voyager."

"Did she? I thought you said the words were never said, regardless of any unspoken promise for when you got home. Don't blame her because you got off the ship with the wrong woman."

"I gave up hope," he admitted sadly.

"But you should have done something about it as soon as you got home."

"I know that now...at the time the thing with Seven was novel and exciting."

"And now? Do you see your relationship with Seven progressing?"

"No...not anymore. She runs the home as if it's a Borg collective. Not a thing is allowed to be out of place. She argues with me about the slightest thing. She's so needy and attention-seeking. Her emotions are swinging all over the place. She engages in sex as if it's a fitness exercise that it she is duty bound to perform and, despite everything, she still thinks everything is perfect between us. She's even mentioned the **m** word."

"**M** word?"

"Marriage. And I'm sorry, the more I think about it, the more the idea fills me with dread. I can't imagine trying to build a life with her now. She isn't the one to fill the void in my life."

"Chakotay, if you feel like this, you need to get out now."

"I know. I've been putting it off...trying to find the right moment."

"Which may never come. It's not fair on Seven to drag it on."

"I know, but I'm just not looking forward to that conversation."

"You need to get it done. Get a clean break."

"And Kathryn?"

"Give her time. Let her absorb the fact that you're single again and let her mull it over. Look, she pretty much said that Seven was the reason nothing could happen between you. So, if you take Seven out of the picture..."

"That's true, but she's also got to forgive me for walking off the ship with Seven and not her....I'm beginning to think that's a bigger deal than I ever realised."

"You said it, big guy. Look...don't expect things to happen overnight."

"No, and it's not like I'm getting much chance to see Kathryn anyway. She doesn't answer my messages or take my calls..."

"You'll just have to patient. I can't think of anyone with a more forgiving spirit. There must be a way to get through to her. Maybe you could accidentally drop in when she's visiting us."

"She visits you?"

"Quite often, actually. Although I'm sure the main attraction is Miral." She gave the sleeping baby a pat on the back, as if to reassure her of her importance.

"There's a rumour that we might be working together at HQ next month, reviewing our contact with the Borg."

"Well...there's your opportunity to mend fences..."

"The project will take several weeks, maybe until Voyager's refit is completed." He sighed as he thought of the obstacles to a reconciliation. "Then there's Will Franklin. Do you know what's going on there?"

"Pfft! I shouldn't worry about him. He's just the latest in a long list of boyfriends...and she didn't mention him as a reason you couldn't be together."

Chakotay grinned at last. That had not occurred to him before. "No, she didn't."


	2. Chapter 2

He wasted no more time in breaking up with Seven. The conversation was even more difficult than Chakotay had anticipated. Seven did not take the news well. She asked him if there was someone else, which he denied. He didn't want Kathryn to be in any way associated with their break up. Had their copulation been inadequate? Had she not performed her duty well? Had she not thought of sufficiently diverting topics for conversation or organized engaging joint activities? The mere fact that she thought that everything could be put to rights by trying to tick off a check-list of planned exercises reinforced Chakotay's decision that everything was wrong with this relationship. He told her their age gap was too wide, they had too dissimilar interests and that he cared for her in a way that was not enough for a long-term relationship. She deserved better; someone more in tune with her needs and closer in age.

There were tears...something which would never have happened before she had had her emotional fail-safe device deactivated. There were tantrums. There were objects thrown around the room. There was pitiful pleading. Chakotay decided to pack up his things and leave straight away so as not to prolong the agony. He moved into the Captain's quarters on Voyager...they were his now that all the remodelling had been completed in the crew quarters. Meanwhile, he enlisted the Doctor's help to support Seven. She was endlessly calling him on the comm., messaging him, even trying to come up to Voyager without permission. After three days, he told her not to contact him and blocked her calls.

After two weeks of hiding on Voyager on the excuse of supervising the refitting and preparation for the next voyage, orders came through for Chakotay to join the project team reviewing Voyager's contact with the Borg at Headquarters. The logs would be gone through in fine detail, questions asked of the senior officers. To his delight, Kathryn and he would be working together on this for at least six weeks. Seven and Icheb might be called upon at times, but he hoped somehow he would be able to avoid being too near Seven.

On his first day at HQ, he was relieved to find Kathryn being perfectly pleasant and normally communicative with him. If he wondered that this was just her being professional, it was at least dispelled when she asked him how he was after the break-up. He was pleased that the news had somehow reached her and that she seemed concerned for his well being. He told her was fine, relieved actually. It had all been for the best. There had been no future in the relationship. Kathryn seemed a little surprised by this. Seven, he told her, hadn't taken it that well and might need her support. Kathryn seemed to think that he should have been more understanding of Seven's emotional immaturity and never have let it go on for so long. He couldn't argue with that.

Chakotay was walking on air. Suddenly he felt a burden lifted from himself and Kathryn's proximity was intoxicating. The chance to spend time just acting normally around her, talking, discussing, analysing, sharing coffee breaks, albeit with others around, was wonderful, especially after a famine of five months. There were some lunches too, although she sometimes slipped out to share lunch with Will (he tried hard not to feel jealous) or some of the Voyager former crew. She went to see Seven several times, although she did not divulge what was shared. He hoped that Seven had not been supplying her with some awful character assassination of him.

Chakotay thought Kathryn was looking a lot happier and more relaxed than he'd seen her in years. The absence of the daily struggle to survive, together with the new challenges of her status as Admiral, seemed to be suiting her. Chakotay wanted not to rush things. After all, he'd only just split up with Seven. For the sake of both women, he did not want to dive straight into a new relationship with indecent haste. He didn't want Kathryn to overtly be the reason for his ending things with Seven, even if it was ultimately the truth.

But Kathryn went away for the weekend with Will. He spent the whole time on edge and his patience ran thin, so he couldn't help himself. When Kathryn breezed in on Monday morning fresh as a daisy and full of her usual spunk, he asked her out to lunch. He had a lot he wanted to discuss with her...they needed to spend some time together. Alone. She cried off the first three days of the week, but eventually agreed to Friday. They would have less to do that day, as there was a huge drinks reception in the evening for Federation dignitaries, arrangements for which they could mostly leave to their staff.

Kathryn didn't want a lot of media fuss...the press followed her everywhere she went and lunch with her former First Officer was bound to excite some attention...so they decided on a picnic on the Starfleet campus, well away from the prying eyes of the media. Chakotay knew exactly the spot from his Academy days...a place mid-campus and out of the range of the perimeter security scanners (which he covertly double checked to see if anything had changed.) Kathryn was highly amused at replicating one of his youthful trysts.

Chakotay, nervous and excited, prepared the picnic with the greatest of care, and chose an expensive bottle of wine. After a morning digging over their alliance with the Borg, for which Kathryn didn't seem the slightest bit uncomfortable and defended her actions with ease, they headed out onto the campus. Chakotay spread a blanket on a patch of grass between four of Boothby's flower beds. There were no other people close by, just a few people on distant benches admiring the sweep of the bay. The view from where they settled was less diverting, but the fragrance of the roses was stronger and their privacy was greater. The June weather was cool but thankfully clear and dry. The hamper was unpacked and Kathryn expressed her delight at the fare, particularly the wine.

They enjoyed the food, chatted amiably about the progress their task group was making and amused themselves with character assessments of the more eccentric members of the team. They talked about the crew...Miral, Tom, B'Elanna, Harry. Two glasses of wine later, mushroom pastries, salad, strawberries and chocolate cake all devoured with much appreciation, Kathryn lay back on the blanket to allow the pale sun to warm her.

Chakotay smiled and took a deep breath. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. He reached for her hand and stroked the palm idly.

"I want to talk about us." Kathryn's lips pinched, but she had expected this. "You must know by now how much I love you...how much I've always loved you. You're the most precious, wonderful person in my life and I want our future to be together. I know I haven't acted like it for a while...I should have done this five months ago. I so regret that I didn't. Dating Seven was a huge mistake and I know that I've hurt you because of it. I've hated this distance between us, although I accept that it has been mostly my fault and I sincerely hope you will forgive me. But we're home...there's no command structure to stop us. And I'm hoping that now I've finished things with Seven, we can at least be honest with each other about our feelings. I love you, Kathryn. I want to live with you for the rest of our lives...whether that means marriage, family (and you and I both know that isn't beyond the realms of possibility) or something else, we can work that out together...but I want to make love with you. I want to build a home with you, sleep with you every night, wake up next to you, share breakfasts, go on vacation...I want it all. And I hope that you want the same thing. I know you loved me once. We never spoke the words, but we looked at each other in ways that said far more. Our hearts spoke to each other with longing through our eyes. I don't think it was just my imagination. You are my dearest friend and we are only half alive when we're apart. You are infinitely beautiful to me and I don't want to live another day without you. We've wasted so much time already."

He stopped, a lump in his throat, and watched her expectantly. There was a sheen in her eyes. He hoped that was a good sign. Her fingers closed around his hand.

"Okay, let's get one thing out in the open, because you asked for honesty. I love you too...far more than you might imagine." He gave a relieved laugh. "That said, I don't know if we can work it out after all this time. If you'd said this five months ago, I wouldn't have hesitated. But now...I'm not one for casual relationships. I couldn't do this, if I thought it wouldn't last. Our relationship is far too important to take a risk. I couldn't bear it, if all you were doing was scratching an itch and then moving on..."

"Kathryn, I wouldn't do that to you. You are far too important to me. I don't think I could do this either, if I didn't think it has a huge chance of success. It would not be scratching an itch, far from it. It would be healing the wound of our separation. We already know that we love living together, love being involved in the minutiae of each other's lives. I value your company above any other, and we also know that we can weather the storms...sort out arguments. We've been mad at each other and still our love has endured. This is no trivial relationship, Kathryn. I know my track record isn't great and I hope you will look past that, but the true reason I haven't stuck with anyone in the last seven years is that I cannot expunge the love I feel for you from my heart. The truth is I'm not after a casual relationship any more than you. I want a lifelong commitment. I want to grow old with you. Look, we both know there are no guarantees when you start a relationship, but this is as close to a dead cert as you can get. I also know that if we don't try this, I will regret it for the rest of my life and I think you will too."

"So why have you been with Seven, then?"

He sighed. "Believe me, I wish I hadn't. I just lost hope...I thought you were never going to come round. It started on the ship. If it hadn't, I would have come to you straight away when we got back."

"I knew."

"You knew?" He was shocked at this revelation.

"Yes. The Admiral told me. Apparently, you married in her timeline."

He gasped. "We married? I find that hard to believe."

"So, you can understand why I've tried to stay out of your way. I would never have wanted to come between you and your true love."

He snorted. "True love! Spirits, she is very far from that. I only wish I had ended things sooner. She might have taken it better."

"She certainly is having difficulty accepting things are over between the two of you."

"You've seen her?"

"Yes, and she seems to be an emotional wreck. You wouldn't believe some of the disgusting names she called you."

"I deserve it...I'm sorry that I've caused her misery, but I couldn't go on living a lie. She isn't my true love. You are. You're in my very bones, Kathryn. I can never eradicate the feelings I have for you." He held her gaze until he was sure she was accepting the validity of his words. "So what about Will?"

"What about him? He's nothing to me. Just a harmless diversion."

"I thought you didn't believe in casual sex. You have slept with him?"

"A few times, yes. He's a player...Chakotay, I'm not stupid. He's not the sort that hangs around...and we both know it. We are both flattered by the attraction, but that's it. If I have indulged in uncharacteristic behaviour, call it a reaction to you being with Seven and frustration from a seven year abstinence. My heart was hurting, and I didn't want to risk it on anyone looking for something far more while I was pining for you."

"You were pining for me. That's good to hear." He freed his hand from hers and began fiddling with her hair instead. It had grown longer again in recent months, and he loved that it had. "I can't wait to make love to you."

"Chakotay, I haven't agreed to anything yet."

"No," he grinned inwardly. "But I am going to talk you round. Listen, I know sex is the elephant in the space dock. We both know it's a massive obstacle we have to tear down. None of this would be anything like as awkward, if we'd done the deed years ago...as we should have done if we'd behaved like two normal human beings."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't take that step on Voyager. I'm sorry that I didn't feel that I could let you in and still do my duty..."

"Hey, don't apologise. You did what you had to do. It's history now, and I want to think about the future." He lay down beside her, bringing his face close to hers. "I love you, Kathryn Janeway...and nothing will ever change that."

"What if we're a disaster together sexually?"

He laughed. "Not a snowball's chance in hell of that."

"You've been sleeping with a woman seventeen years younger than me."

"Spirits, I'd have thought you of all people would carry yourself with confidence in the bedroom. Besides, you are the one that's at her sexual prime, not Seven. Isn't that what they say about women in their forties?"

"That's about our libido, not our sexual allure to men."

"Sexual allure? You've no idea, have you? You've no idea how beautiful, how sexy, how intriguing you are? I love you completely, right down to the very hairs on the back of your neck, so don't you dare think for a moment that I'll be anything other than completely thrilled to get you naked. Besides, Seven wasn't exactly the most enthusiastic lover, so you have nothing to worry about. You won't have to try very hard to win out there. Even if we fumble about at first, I'm sure we'll work it out."

"Oh, that I'm not concerned about. Anything Seven can do, I can do a hundred times better."

"I'm sure you can."

"I just need to know that you'll still find me attractive in ten, twenty years time and not have your head turned by some young blonde..."

"Won't happen. It's as simple as that. I told you, I want to grow old with you."

"Won't happen? I need to know you believe you can be faithful to me."

"I haven't the slightest doubt that I can. I need that from you too...Besides, I happen to know you're still very sexy and attractive in your seventies. How many men can look into the future and be that excited by it?"

"You had a thing for the Admiral?"

"Guilty as charged, but only because she was you. Look, I absolutely promise I can be faithful to you and I know you are a serial monogamist at heart. But that doesn't mean our sex life should be boring. Can we make a promise to each other about this? Because we've spent so long avoiding talking about sex that it's become second nature. I want us to talk freely about the physical side of things, what we like, what we don't...what feels good. Be open to a bit of experimentation, yet free to put a stop to something without embarrassment or awkwardness. Can we promise that to each other?"

Her eyes misted again. "Okay. I think I can do that."

"And for the same reason, I want us to tell each other every day that we love each other."

"I agree. No more avoiding talking about what matters."

"Good," he smiled. "I think we could have the most amazing intimate life, despite that we've taken so long to give it a go. And trust me, I know how to give a girl a good time. Unless, you're frigid,".... he twisted his head and blew on the sensitive spot behind her ear, making her squirm..."which I know you're not, we are going to have zero problems in that department. I didn't succeed too well with Seven, but I don't believe that was the fault of either one of us, just another thing the Borg stole from her." His hand slipped to the back of her head and he kissed her on the forehead. "So, I think we need to sweep all this awkwardness away...we need to destroy this barrier once and for all. We need to make love...tonight if possible... then we will be able to make plans for our future much more freely."

"Once we take this step, there'll be no undoing it."

"No there won't...and I'm counting on that being a good thing."

"It's a little scary...after all this time."

"Yes, it is. There is always a risk...but we take the leap together, right?"

She nodded. "I want things to stay discrete. It would be grossly upsetting to Seven, so I'd rather she didn't find out just yet. So we can't let the media get their teeth into it for a while."

He nodded. "I agree. I'm staying in your old quarters on Voyager. I can't think of a better place to consummate our relationship. You could join me tonight. Tell them you want to stay on board...former Captain's prerogative. Nobody will question it...you have clearance. No press, skeleton crew on board...perfect privacy...and the place where we began. I almost feel we owe it to our beloved ship to bring our own personal journey to completion there too."

She smiled her agreement. "We have the drinks reception this evening."

"We won't have to stay late."

"Seven will be there."

"Hmm...I'd forgotten that. We'll just have to avoid each other all evening. Keep her off the scent."

"I think we can do that."

"And if there are any unforeseen problems, we can message each other."

"Okay."

"That's settled then. Kathryn, I promise to give you the most wonderful night of your life."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"Are you sure the scanners can't pick us up?"

"I stake my reputation as an ex-Maquis on it. We can't be seen here."

"Your reputation, eh? I'm more worried about mine."

He smiled, then cradling both hands behind her head, he brought their lips together. Finally, they learned the true delicious feel of their lover's lips. Seven years in the making, it sucked the breath out of them, sending tingles flying through both of them, curling their toes, pounding their hearts. It was electric.

When then finally pulled apart, he commented, "See, I told you we couldn't possibly be a disaster together."


	3. Chapter 3

The dull drinks reception seemed to drag on. Chakotay began to feel it would never end. He and Kathryn had avoided looking at each other. They both knew that they would both grin stupidly if they did. The only conversation they had was when other guests asked them jointly to comment on something. Even then, they avoided catching the others' eye. Seven, however, was watching like a hawk. Chakotay was thankful that she didn't seem to want to talk, much less make a scene. He hoped that she would continue to believe him as estranged from Kathryn as he had been since Voyager's return. Their aloofness at the party would certainly seem to reinforce this. He didn't notice that when he left, some long time before Kathryn, she slipped away behind him.

Chakotay transported back up to Voyager and enquired of the technician in charge with assumed casualness whether Admiral Janeway had arranged a visit.

He was informed that she had and that the VIP quarters were being prepared for her. Chakotay vetoed this and asked for them to prepare the quarters next to his...his own former quarters... and to let him know when she came aboard. He did not want her to have to trail half way across the ship to reach him. He went back to his quarters took a shower and tidied up. He wondered what she would make of the changes to her old quarters. It looked very different with his own decorations in it. It was over an hour later when he got the confirmation that Kathryn had beamed up.

She didn't appear straight away, and he started to get a little anxious. He heard her next door, presumably refreshing herself, and, when the door finally chimed, she had changed out of uniform into a comfortable blouse and slacks. She had removed her make-up too.

It was a long time since he'd seen her without her war paint and he did a double take. At her raised eye-brow, he lifted his hand and stroked her cheek, gazing in wonder at her freckles.

"Well...this is refreshing," he welcomed her.

"I thought you should see what you were getting."

"Oh...I know what I am getting," he said huskily, drawing her into a deep kiss. "You're so beautiful."

"And so are you," she responded with a tremble, initiating their second kiss herself.

"Let's be beautiful together." He kissed her again, this time longer deeper. He sighed deeply and he felt her tremble again. "Anxious?"

"Only a little. You're right...this is a barrier we have to smash before we can even begin to make plans."

"Relax, my darling. We're just two wonderful friends, making the very right decision to share their bodies as well as their hearts. Trust me, I'll never willingly hurt you for the rest of our lives."

She nodded. "I love you so much."

"And I love you too. Nothing ever felt so right."

Words now unnecessary, his hands swept into her hair which was still pinned up. He began to pull the pins out, and his fingers delved appreciatively into the silky strands. His heart swelled. He almost couldn't believe she was finally here in his arms. They kissed again and then his hands went to the buttons on her blouse. He fumbled a little...his fingers were trembling with excitement...and the fact that she was pulling the belt from his pants was distracting. He pushed the blouse off her shoulders to reveal a black lace bra. He ran his fingers along the edge across the top of her breasts reverently. His belt flew onto the floor and her hands began work on unfastening his pants. His penis was jutting hard now, and he felt sure it would burst out as soon as she opened a gap. He pulled back slightly and stilled her hand. He didn't want to rush this. He was sure that, if she so much as touched him with her soft hands, he would explode. He stared into the deep pools of her eyes and she seemed to understand. "Patience, my love."

He reached behind her back and unclasped the bra. It slipped down her arms to the floor, and beautiful round breasts with pert pink nipples filled his vision. He was thrilled. He touched them reverently, felt their weight, ran his thumb over the tips. They fit perfectly into his hands. He bent and chased a necklace of kisses along the top of her breasts. Kathryn held her breath and closed her eyes, longing for him to take her into his mouth, but he didn't.

"Perfect, just perfect," his voice vibrated against the underside of her right breast. He straightened up, amused at the dreamy look on her face and deciding that she was ready for a more invasive assault. He kissed her once on the lips, and, grinning with delight, he swept her off her feet and carried her into the bedroom. Depositing her onto the bed, he pulled the rest of her clothes from her body, before divesting himself of his own clothes. Finally his huge proud erection sprang free, and Kathryn couldn't help swallowing when she saw the size of him. Chakotay grinned knowingly as he covered her naked body with his, bringing himself face to face with her.

"It's all yours, my love. You can play with it any time you like...but first we need to get you on the boil." He kissed her again, before moving down to finally take a nipple in his mouth and tease it into an even tighter peak. Kathryn arched her back in delight, her legs parting with the pleasure of it all, and he took the opportunity to push two fingers into her heat. She was very wet and they entered easily, so it wasn't difficult for him to curl them round in search of her G spot. Kathryn's gasp as she launched off the bed again, told him he'd found the spot with unerring accuracy. His thumb then wiggled between her folds to locate her clitoris and circle it gently. Assaulted from three delicious directions, Kathryn couldn't halt the crescendo of sensation welling up inside her, and, arching again off the bed, she shrieked through her orgasm, his name on her lips.

Chakotay laughed happily, as he gentled her down. How delighted he was that he could finally do this to her, that he finally knew how she sounded in the throes of ecstasy and how his name was the one on her lips as she exploded.

"Oh my G-d, Chakotay. That was amazing..."

He grinned. "I've only just started, darling. There are plenty more where that came from. What's more, my love...I wish you to cogitate on the fact that I'll still be able to do that to you when we're ninety."

"Oh G-d, you'll be the death of me."

"No, I won't. We're growing old together, okay?"

"Okay." She reached for his turgid erection which felt very obvious against her belly. "Let me take care of this."

He pulled it away from her. "No, you don't. I told you, you can play with it later. I want to be inside you when I come." Her eyes widened in surprise. "Round two!" he announced, as he scooted down her body and pushed her legs apart again. Kathryn gasped as his two thumbs probed into her vagina, holding it open. His head dove between her legs, taking in a deep draught of her scent. In seconds, he drove his tongue into her...probing...tasting....teasing...

"Oh...ohhhh..." Kathryn was squealing with delight, and he was making her do it! He was thrilled that she was trusting him enough to allow him free rein with her body. Chakotay decided life didn't get any better than this. But he amended his thought twenty minutes later when he finally pushed into her for the first time, feeling her exquisite tightness grasp his penis and propel him finally towards his own completion. He thrust gently at first to allow her to adjust to his size, but then his own urgent need drove him onward. Gripping her buttocks, he pounded and pounded and pounded. Her head was thrashing from side to side in complete abandonment, and he felt confident that, if he could just hold on long enough, she might manage a fourth orgasm. He reached between them to encourage her with a little pressure on her button. His balls were slapping deliciously on her with each thrust. Oh, it was heaven....oh, so gorgeous. His momentum faltered, his groin tightened and...what utter relief...they both screamed as he released his heavy load to send it gushing into her womb. No, life doesn't get any better than **THIS**.

They curled together as the euphoria faded, stroking each other, offering perfunctory kisses, whispering words of love. Neither needed to comment. They had both enjoyed the most intense sexual experience of their lives. All previous encounters paled in comparison. Chakotay had planned it that way, but in truth it had exceeded even his expectations. What an irony it was that she'd been concerned earlier that they might be a disaster together! The truth could not have been more different. He'd known they'd be good together from the moment she'd stood between him and Tom Paris on the day they'd first met. Now the theory had been put to the test, he hoped he'd convinced her too.

"I want this for the rest of our lives," he breathed in her ear.

She lifted her head and smiled. "So do I."


	4. Chapter 4

Kathryn stirred, her head a bit groggy. She felt a little disorientated. She glanced blurrily at the chronometer, and was shocked to see how late it was. Sitting up, confusion began to set in. Her hand patted the bed next to her, expecting to make contact with her lover, but the bed was empty. This wasn't where she'd fallen asleep last night...she was in Chakotay's old quarters. Her dress uniform was slung over a chair. She certainly couldn't remember coming back to these quarters last night, and she was sure she hadn't had that much to drink.

She threw off the bedclothes, feeling momentarily dizzy. She glanced at the dress uniform, and decided against it, opting instead to replicate a bathrobe to cover herself. Had she decided that they needed to be so discrete that they hadn't spent the whole night together? Surely she would have remembered coming to that decision and leaving Chakotay alone. She exited to the corridor and padded barefoot along to the Captain's quarters. To her surprise, the door zipped unexpectedly open on her approach.

The lounge was empty, but her blouse and bra on the floor lay testament to the fact that it hadn't all just been an incredibly erotic dream.

"Chakotay?" she called, but there was no answer. Even so, she was aware of movement in the bedroom. She strode to the bedroom door and the sight that greeted her made her heart stop.

There was Seven, totally naked and undulating on top of Chakotay. Her back was towards Kathryn, a man's sturdy thighs sticking out from under her buttocks.

"Seven?" The colour drained from Kathryn's face.

The blonde turned her head, her face not registering shock at the intrusion, rather a grin of smugness.

"What are you doing here?" Seven challenged.

"What are you doing here more to the point?" Kathryn returned. She had just advanced far enough to see that the owner of the legs definitely was Chakotay. His eyes were closed, as if lost in the euphoria, and a male grunt issued from his lips.

"I should have thought that was obvious. Claiming my man back. He's not yours and never will be. Now, get out!"

Kathryn's mouth dropped open, but she'd seen enough. She wasn't hanging around to witness any more of this horror show. She stumbled back out into the lounge as tears began to prick in her eyes. She grabbed her blouse and bra on the way out, but no way was she turning back for her slacks in the bedroom.

She staggered back to the quarters next door in turmoil. How could he do that to her? After the wonderful night they'd just had? The man's promises meant nothing! He was a bastard! An absolute goddamned bastard! He didn't even have the guts to come after her. That showed how much he really cared for her. What a fool she was for believing in him! She'd never speak to him again.

In floods of tears, she dressed back into her uniform. She washed the tears from her eyes, and tried to put on a modicum of make-up in order to make herself at least presentable. It was Saturday. She didn't have to go to work, so all she wanted was to get herself home so that she could lick her wounds. In the end she made the snap decision to call up HQ and get herself beamed out straight away. Thanks to her rank (there were some privileges after all), she didn't even have to walk herself to the transporter room.

* * *

An hour or so later, Chakotay stirred. His head was very foggy and he tried in vain to lift it off the pillow.

"I'll get you some tea!" Seven offered. He tried to shake himself. This wasn't right. He shouldn't be hearing Seven's voice. Where was Kathryn? Had he heard her voice earlier?

He lifted his head and it seemed to wobble on his shoulders, as a mug of tea appeared at his side.

"Seven? What the hell?" he managed.

"Just drink up. You'll feel better in a moment."

"No...this isn't right. What are you doing here? I slept with Kathryn last night."

"You might have slept with your whore last night, but then you slept with me. Don't worry, I've forgiven you."

"No!" He made a herculean effort to sit up. "I didn't sleep with you...I didn't. What have you done?"

"You did. And you were very enthusiastic about it."

"No! It can't be!" He twisted to get his legs out of the bed. "Kathryn? Where's Kathryn?"

"She's gone. Beamed off the ship. After the wonderful performance you've just given her, she won't be bothering us again."

He grabbed Seven's arm, but hardly had the strength to shake it. "No! What have you done?" He launched himself out of bed and staggered with leaden legs to the dresser, where he lifted his comm. badge. "Security to Captain's quarters at once!" he managed.

Turning, he saw the smug look on Seven's face turn to panic. "Chakotay! Stop it! Call them off!"

He glared at her. "I didn't ask you here. You've violated me. I'll have you arrested for assault!"

"I'm your girlfriend...how can I have violated you...?"

"You...are...not...my...girlfriend," he said through gritted teeth.

"But..." Two security guards burst into the room. Chakotay was glad they were both men, as he was still naked.

"Take this intruder into custody. She has somehow by-passed security to get in here and I want a full investigation as to how."

"Yes, sir."

"Don't, Chakotay!" pleaded Seven. "We can sort this out."

"See that she is charged with tampering with security, trespassing on Starfleet property and sexual assault," Chakotay continued.

The two guards struggled to hide their shock at his words. "Yes sir. Come with us, miss."

But Seven wasn't going quietly. They dragged the protesting woman down the corridor and her shouting could be heard for at least another minute.

Chakotay stared into space for a while. He was struggling to clear his head. "Computer, locate Admiral Janeway."

"_Admiral Janeway is not on board_."

Chakotay sighed. Seven hadn't been lying about that. Spirit knows what damage had been done. Right now, he needed to get a doctor to check him over. There were no medical staff in Voyager's sickbay at present, so he also used his rank for a beam out to Starfleet Medical.

The doctors examined him and quickly established that he had been dosed at some point with a sedative. He was administered with an antidote to counteract the effect.

Chakotay called Kathryn. She answered with a "Go to hell!" and he wasn't really surprised. Several subsequent attempts to call her weren't even answered. In desperation, he then called B'Elanna. He needed the support.

B'Elanna came quickly, leaving Miral with Tom and was utterly horrified at the emerging tale. Her dear friend had been drugged and assaulted by his ex-girlfriend. She stayed with Chakotay for a couple of hours while doctors continued their tests and Starfleet security came and took a statement. Seven had been detained in a Starfleet Security facility, pending a full investigation.

The doctors wanted Chakotay to rest over the lunch period and sleep off the lethargy, so B'Elanna left to help the security team figure out how Seven had done it. She beamed up to Voyager and poured through the transporter logs with the investigating officers. It transpired that the transporter technician who had been on duty the night before had been found dazed and groggy in a weapons locker. He'd been drugged too. Once the chain of events had been established, B'Elanna called Kathryn to explain exactly what had transpired. It turned out the Kathryn was by now aware of the twisted devious plot Seven had contrived, having had a visit from a security team herself to take a statement from her. She was dithering what to do about it, and B'Elanna finally prevailed upon her to go to Chakotay at Starfleet Medical. He needed her reassurance desperately.


	5. Chapter 5

When Chakotay was next aware of sounds in his room, his visitor was coming in. He blinked several times and relief flooded through him as he realised it was Kathryn. She pulled up a chair to sit beside him and took his hand in hers.

"Are you okay?" she queried.

Chakotay's eyes filled with tears. "I'm getting there." He looked at her miserably. Her own eyes were flooding too. "Seven contrived this...she drugged me and assaulted me."

"I know. B'Elanna explained everything...and I had to make a statement to security this morning too. She drugged me too...although a lower dose than you."

"Kathryn...are you okay? Did she do anything inappropriate to you?" he asked, his voice laden with concern.

"No, they checked. They don't think I have been assaulted in any way. Just relocated against my will."

"They swabbed me. I have her DNA on my private parts. To prove penetration, they would have to swab her...and at the moment she is refusing. They won't force the issue, unless I decide I want to prosecute. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure I want to put her through that...even though I hate her guts right now. I don't think I could stand all the lurid details being splashed all over the media either. I can't remember anything after we went to sleep. I don't remember Seven coming into the room...or having sexual relations with her...nothing. Quite honestly, I'd rather not remember. I just want this whole horrible business to go away."

"Well, whatever you decide, I'll stand by you, my love."

"She might have raped me."

"She was on top of you when I came in. I couldn't see exactly...but I realise now that you were quite spaced out."

"Oh hell, you saw us...No wonder you jumped ship. I might vaguely remember your voice."

"I rather think that was her main intention...that I saw you. She was trying to break us up."

He gazed into her eyes. "Has she succeeded?"

Kathryn gripped his hand tighter. "No, not now I know none of this was your fault. We can't let her win."

He gave her a thin smile and she kissed him on the forehead. Then she went to find tissues to dry their tears.

"Spirits...I feel sick...violated."

"You have every right to feel that way. But I doubt very much if you were participating at all."

"She makes me feel disgusting."

"No...you're not. Don't ever think that. She's the one who is disgusting. And if you can't remember anything, she may never have got as far as she wanted us both to believe."

"I hope and pray so. I want to believe that...I don't think I want to investigate further."

"Maybe it would put your mind at rest."

"And maybe not." He squeezed his eyes in agony. "She ruined our first night together."

"No she didn't. Up until we fell asleep it was wonderful. She just ruined our first morning together...and there will be plenty more."

"Thank the spirits for that."

Kathryn leaned forward and rested her forehead on his. "I love you. She can't take that away. We mustn't let her."

"I love you too. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me."

They rested in silence for a few minutes before he asked, "Did B'Elanna find out how she did it? Seven's not been very forthcoming with investigators."

"We have a pretty good idea. She transported up to Voyager after me and tranquilized the technician on duty. She must have hacked into the computer to locate us and then broken security control on the transporter system. Then she took herself off to your old quarters after I'd left to come to you and waited till the computer told her we were both asleep. Then she over-rode the security on your quarters to dose us both with a sedative. Apparently she then went back to your old quarters and waited in the bed for a while. Then she got the transporters to switch me with her. There's a trail of evidence proving she by-passed security protocols several times. She's very clever at covering her tracks, but she's no match for B'Elanna with an axe to grind. There's more than enough for court martial, even if you don't prosecute."

"Damn! I can't believe she could be that vindictive."

"Premeditated, do you think?"

"I don't see how. She knew I was staying on Voyager. But she can't possibly have known you were going to join me. We were very discrete at the party. She can't have guessed what was going on. Or maybe we were too discrete and she smelled a rat. She was probably aware that I always held a candle for you."

"Maybe she just planned to insinuate herself into your bed...and that my being there was a complete surprise and an added bonus. She saw an opportunity and seized it. She's a quick thinker, after all. And once she found out I was with you, she wanted to break us up once and for all. We can't let her destroy our relationship. The more I think about it, the more I believe that she staged what was going on in that bedroom. You were really out of it. The spectacle was for my benefit. She intended to shock me into dumping you. I think it's less and less likely that she really was able to take you all the way."

"Kathryn, I don't remember and I don't think I want to know."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm not going to prosecute. The publicity for you and me would be ugly. Just imagine the headlines! I couldn't bear for you to be drawn into this foul mess."

"Don't make the decision just to spare me. Make the decision for yourself."

"What's right for our relationship is right for me. I want to move forward and somehow put this behind us. Are you okay with that?"

"I'm definitely okay with that."

"Besides, she's not going to get away with it entirely. Starfleet will throw the book at her."

"But they'll keep it in-house. No need for lurid headlines."

"That's what I figure. The truth is she needs the psychiatric help."

"She'll get it. They'll make sure of that."

"She's never been able to cope emotionally since the Doctor disabled her fail-safe device."

"The Doctor disabled it?" Kathryn asked surprised.

"Yes...in one fell swoop. He should have done it incrementally. She just couldn't cope with the mood swings. It was one of the many reasons why I found her so difficult to live with."

"It explains a lot. She was always cool and calculating...but never as emotional as I've seen her recently. She hasn't seemed the same since we got home."

"That's not the half of it. The Doctor operated on her the day before we transited through the Borg hub network."

"He what???!" Kathryn blustered. "I'll kill him...at least decompile him. Operating on key personnel the day before such a precarious and vital mission and without consulting the Captain! Just wait till I get my hands on him..."

"We still got home safely."

"Yes. I suppose we did. He was always too soft on Seven." Kathryn frowned in thought. "And while we're on the subject, I have something of a confession. I hesitate to lay this on you when you have just been through this ordeal, but maybe it's pertinent to your decision. I didn't tell you at the time, in order to respect Seven's privacy. But now she's done this to you, she's lost all right to that and I think you need to know. You remember when she collapsed on the holodeck?"

"Yes."

"It was because her fail-safe shut down her cybernetic systems. That's when the Doctor made plans to deactivate her fail-safe or remove it altogether. The last I knew of it was that it would take several operations over several months. It was designed to cut in whenever her emotional responses exceeded a certain level." Chakotay nodded. He'd known that much at the time. "What you don't know is what she was doing when it cut in. She had made a holodeck scenario where you were her lover, and she was practising her sexual skills on a hologram of you. I hauled her over the plasma manifolds about the inappropriate use of a hologram of a living person, and she was forced to delete the program."

Chakotay was stunned. "Oh hell!"

"I wish I'd told you now. It might have made you more wary when you began dating her."

"I wish you'd told me too...we'd have been spared all this...I would never have started dating her."

"Maybe or maybe not. She's a beautiful woman, and there's nothing more alluring to a man to know that someone as attractive as Seven is into you. Moreover, I thought later that because you married her in the alternate timeline that you most probably would work things out well in this timeline."

"Spirit knows why I married her in that timeline. We can't possibly have been happy."

"I didn't get that impression from my older self."

"Your older self only told you enough to get you to do what she wanted, and you know it."

"Perhaps. Maybe Seven was stable so long as she had what she wanted."

"It doesn't bear thinking about. I'm such a fool. I should never have begun things with her, and certainly not continued it when she began to fall so badly for me."

"I suspect that from the moment her fail-safe was deactivated you were in trouble."

"She couldn't cope with that depth of feeling. Certainly not with being in love and not having it returned."

"That isn't love, Chakotay. That's obsession."

"And whatever crumb of affection I had for her is gone. I never want to see her again."

"You won't have to."

At that moment a doctor came in to give Chakotay a final check over. He pronounced that he was fit enough to go home, but needed someone with him. Kathryn immediately offered to take him back to her apartment, and Chakotay had no desire to return to Voyager.

"I thought you wanted to keep things discrete?" he queried, as the plans were being hatched. "The press will soon pick it up..."

"That was mostly for Seven's benefit...so the issue is moot now. I have no qualms about being seen with you now. In fact, it might help her get the message."

He smiled. This was certainly a very positive step in their relationship. As he got dressed in some replicated clothes, he reassured her once again that he didn't want to prosecute and that he would let Starfleet security deal with her. They'd both made statements, and he hoped that would be the end of any contact he need have with her. They would contact the legal department on Monday morning to get a restraining order preventing Seven from contacting either one of them in any way. Kathryn perhaps had mixed feelings about cutting Seven loose, but she didn't voice them. She after all still felt a high level of responsibility to the former drone, however heinous her behaviour had become.


	6. Chapter 6

Kathryn's apartment turned out to be large and airy with sweeping views of the Bay. It was certainly a prestigious piece of real estate, which she had purchased on quitting Starfleet accommodation three months earlier. It was well furnished too, with some antiques which had come from a previous apartment she had owned. Kathryn explained that, although her mother had been forced to sell her former home when Voyager had disappeared, she had kept much of her furniture in storage.

He still felt filthy, so he went for a shower, despite that he'd had one at the Medical unit. She told him to replicate anything he needed, while she went into the kitchen to prepare an evening meal. She replicated some bread and salad, and began work on a stir fry of mushrooms, leeks and sweet potatoes. Chakotay was rather amused at her relatively competent attempt at being domestic, yet he still couldn't resist coming to stand behind her to supervise. Soon his arms stole around her in affection and he rested his head on her shoulder. Their joint effort produced a fairly palatable meal.

They took their drinks out on the balcony to watch a muted sunset and chat about anything and everything except the recent painful experiences for the moment. It was cool, and eventually the breeze drove them back behind the massive glass panoramic doors to the relative comfort of the room.

He settled on a long sofa, and Kathryn scooted in beside nestling within his arm.

"Would you like some time alone? A chance to contact your spirit guide perhaps?"

He shook his head, touched that she would consider something like that. "No, right now the best balm is to be here with you." He drew in a deep sigh, enjoying the play of her fingers on his chest. "I still feel dirty though...like I can't wash her off my skin...even though I've had two showers."

"That's natural. I understand how you feel. I have had Cardassians touch me in ways you can't imagine...and I had to train myself to disassociate such vile abusive behaviour with acts of love between two people who trust and care for each other. The two things are not the same at all."

"You've been assaulted?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes, but I never talk about it now. I try not even to think about it."

"Raped?"

"No...but I had to endure Owen Paris's screams while they tortured him. That is not something I'll ever forget." They lapsed into a grim silence, both of them aware that they had experienced that sort of physical abuse many times since. It was always something of a risk when one signed on for active service. "And a few people in the Delta Quadrant made my flesh crawl...."

"Really?" She'd never admitted any such feeling to him during their Delta Quadrant odyssey. "Kashyk?"

"Well, there was him...but I have to admit to being a bit attracted to him."

"The proverbial compelling, yet dangerous bad guy."

"Yes. I never slept with him, in case you were wondering."

"I did at the time."

"I'm sure you did. No, I was thinking of men more like Garth..."

"I remember him...he was the man who kept giving you silk clothing...practically translucent."

"And kept asking me to model them for him. What a creep! And I had to suck up to the likes of him because we desperately needed the supplies. No, I had to be determined that my early experiences didn't ruin the rest of my life. It's made me tougher and I've had two healthy relationships since."

After a few moments, he added, "You're right. It's very different when two people who love and trust each other come together. We shouldn't associate the two things. One is mental and psychological abuse as well as the physical violation... The other is an expression of mutual admiration and love."

"I'm sure you could get some counselling, if you need it."

He smiled, "I'm sure between you and my spirit guide, I have all I need. Besides, I have endured and witnessed far worse."

"We both have. I am sorry I took everything at face value when I saw you together this morning."

He shifted slightly. "You have some work to do on your trust of my love for you. You should know I would never do something like that to someone I love so much."

"I fear you are right. It's true that we have always known how we felt about each other, but I'm afraid my faith took a knock when you started dating Seven."

"Well, she's out of our lives now. Let's make sure she doesn't succeed in driving a wedge between us."

"Agreed." She moved her fingers down to run lazy circles over his groin. "Still feeling dirty?"

"A little," he said with less conviction.

"Would you like me to do something about that?"

"What had you in mind?" he asked with interest.

She began unfastening his pants. "You have a magnificent piece of artillery in here, Captain, and I would love to put it through its paces..."

Chakotay slid himself lower on the couch, with a huge grin. "Do your worst, you wicked woman!"

And with enthralled pleasure he abandoned himself to the marvellous and multi-faceted talents of Kathryn Janeway.

Hours of delicious love-making culminated in them falling into surprisingly untroubled sleep. As Chakotay's eyes grew heavy, his lover in his arms, he reflected that the love of a good woman went a long way to healing wounds.

* * *

He woke Kathryn next morning by waving a cup of coffee near her nostrils. "Good morning, my love."

She stretched, inhaled the aroma appreciatively then pushed herself up in the bed, pulling the cover over her breasts. Depositing the cup at her side, he pushed the covers back down to her waist. "Don't cover yourself up...I want some space just to admire...you've hidden these from me for seven years."

"How are you feeling this morning?" she asked, as she mock pouted at the demand.

"Not bad, actually. Last night worked wonders on my self-image. I'm determined not to let it cloud our relationship."

"Glad to hear it."

He went to the other side of the bed to climb in beside her. He slipped down to a position that afforded him a good view of her left breast as she began to sip her coffee.

She smirked. "Like what you see?"

"Love what I see. You're so beautiful. I wish I could stay here forever."

"So do I, but we have other things to do. Like eat, work..."

"It's Sunday...we don't have to be anywhere."

"No, we don't." She put her mug back down and snuggled into him. "Got any activities in mind?"

"Oh, yes," he breathed and proceeded to show her exactly what he had in mind.

* * *

Twenty exhilarating minutes later, they were cuddled together again.

"How was that?" he asked.

"Pretty amazing actually. I wish I could wake up like this every morning."

"So do I. I think I need to pinch myself to check this is real, and that I've woken up with the right woman this time."

"This is real. You are in my apartment. You are in my bed...and there's no way you can mistake me for her. However, I think we ought to get a security review and make sure she can't pull the same trick again."

"No...there's no way I'd mistake you for her, not in a million years. You're way out of her league."

"I'm glad you're impressed."

"Oh...I'm more than impressed. You, Admiral, get a one hundred percent performance evaluation."

"So, do you, Captain," she responded, giving him a happy kiss. "But you do need to work on your idolisation of me. You've tended to have me on a pedestal. I'm not perfect, Chakotay, and you don't deal with it too well when my halo slips. I fart like the rest of them."

"I bet even your farts smell sweet," he laughed.

"No, they do not," she grinned. "Seriously, though...you do need to accept that I can make mistakes too. I am human."

"I know...and I do admit that I don't deal with it well...But no relationship never needs adjustment. We just have to work on it. Kathryn, I want this for the rest of our lives. My people have a saying: keep a woman satisfied in bed and she'll never want to leave."

"Your people have a lot of wise sayings. What else do they say?"

"That having the love of one good woman is worth way more than the lust of a hundred mediocre ones."

"Well, I sure hope you agree with that one."

"They're pretty down to earth on Trebus. It comes because our ancestors lived a nomadic existence in tents...some still do. There was often not much privacy. Sex is natural, not something to be embarrassed about. There's much less awkwardness back home than here on earth."

"Well...at least we earthlings are less hung up about it than Vulcans."

"Thank the Spirits for that. It's not unusual to come across couples making love and communing with nature, and no-one would feel the least bit outraged. The sea, the river, lakes, the forest. Open air love making is just...normal. I want to take you to there, show you all the wonders of my childhood..at least the parts the Cardassians didn't desecrate... introduce you to my sister's family."

"I'd love to go with you...see the haunts of your miss-spent youth. Maybe we can free up some time when the Borg project winds up in a few weeks and before Voyager is ready to ship out."

"Are you game for a little outdoor activity?"

"As long as you respect my need for privacy. I'm not into exhibitionism. Admirals need to keep up some degree of decorum."

"Good. How about we make it a honeymoon?"

"Are you serious?"

"Absolutely."

She considered for a moment. "Do I get woken up with coffee and kisses every morning?"

"Every morning so long as I am able."

"Plenty of mind-blowing sex?"

"I'm at your service. Is that a yes?"

She grinned. "Of course it's a yes." And she kissed him soundly to seal the deal.

"So...how does September sound to you? Not too rushed? I don't think you'd want a long engagement."

"No, I don't. As long as you're up for making most of the arrangements...I've planned two failed weddings. I don't really want to jinx this by planning another one. September sounds great."

"Big wedding or small?" he asked.

"Well...I'd have to ask all my family and that's quite a lot of people. You'll be overwhelmed. Then the old crew...most of them would want to come. We'd find it difficult to include some and not others.

"So, big then."

"Yes. But no Seven."

"Absolutely not. We wouldn't want her there, and she's lost all right to consideration of her feelings after yesterday. Starfleet ceremonial?"

"No...I think....I'd rather go for a lovely hotel with a view somewhere, but I'll leave it in your capable hands."

"Your wish is my command."

"I'll just sort out my clothes...and maybe the bridal party. Do you think Naomi would like to be a bridesmaid?"

"I'm sure she'd be over the moon."

"And I'd have to find a role for my two nephews...."

* * *

Later, over a leisurely lunch, he asked her how she felt about trying for a family.

"I'd love to... I always hoped I would be a mother one day."

"That's what I was hoping you would say."

"At my last physical...which I admit was a long time ago...everything was still looking good fertility wise...although I was starting to think my chances of finding the right man were slipping away."

"Well, I think your luck just changed. However, at our age we shouldn't hang around..."

"No, I agree."

"We're still young by twenty-fourth century standards."

"I'd still prefer to do things as naturally as possible."

"Perhaps we'd better go and discuss it with the Doc."

"Maybe after the wedding."

"We'd need a bigger house of course. Although I must say this apartment of yours is rather spectacular."

"We could keep it as a bolt-hole...we'd need somewhere to stay while working in San Fran. But perhaps we could look for somewhere more rural for a family home. I am not short of credits. I have seven years back pay after all, and I come from a prosperous family."

"And you thought I was only after your body?"

"The thought never crossed my mind," she dead-panned.

"Could we look for a fixer-upper? I'd quite like to put my carpentry skills to good use."

"Can you do roofing?"

"Plumbing...roofing, you name it. We all learn these things on Trebus."

"Heavens, you're a man of many talents."

"And anything to do with power systems, recycling and replication you'd handle with ease. You're a fully qualified engineer among your multiple talents."

"A project that has nothing to do with Starfleet would be great..." she commented wistfully.

"Wouldn't it?" he agreed.

"I might not have the time...I might have my hands full with other things."

"You might...and I would be utterly delighted if you did."

* * *

They did not venture out that day, just stayed in looking at real estate and potential wedding venues. They had much to discuss. Chakotay was fairly bouncing around...the euphoria of his relationship with Kathryn chasing out much of the shadow of the day before. He also managed to contact his spirit guide, who reinforced his conviction that he was on the right path.

They left together for work on Monday morning and by 10.00 it was all over the media that they had been spotted together, so any need for further discretion flew out the window. They couldn't help grinning at each other all day and their behaviour couldn't fail to be noticed by their colleagues. Chakotay began to reason that they had made the right decision to keep things platonic on Voyager. Kathryn Janeway was just too distracting.

At lunchtime, they skipped off to the legal department to get the restraining order against Seven recommended by the security team ratified. She was not to go near either of them, nor contact them in any way. She had been released from custody pending court martial, but was to undergo psychiatric therapy. The medical team wanted to reactivate her fail-safe device, but she had so far refused. The Doctor was apparently working on a way to only partially re-activate it, with the intention of giving her greater control over emotions whilst preventing her implants from shutting down when her emotions overwhelmed her. Seven, it seemed, was still suffering from what the Borg had done to her, but it would have to be other people supporting her now. Kathryn spoke to the Doctor and handed responsibility over to him.


	7. Chapter 7

There followed several weeks of total bliss for the new couple. The media soon picked up that they were engaged, because Kathryn was soon sporting a ridiculously expensive engagement ring. She might have preferred something less ostentatious, but since her previous two engagement rings had been more muted, she was prepared to indulge Chakotay's excitement. Chakotay met Kathryn's family and moved in permanently with his fiancée. The arrangement seemed to be suiting her well. She was glowing with happiness, Chakotay thought. It must be all the good food that he was cooking for her...and their rather satisfying intimate life.

They spent a little time catching up with Voyager's crew and went for long walks. Chakotay made plans for the wedding at a hotel looking out at the Pacific Ocean in mid-September with Kathryn's full approval. The wedding plans started to take shape and the invitations went out. Kathryn went off several times to sort out her dress and clothes for Naomi and her nephews. Naomi was very excited at the prospect of being a bridesmaid.

Chakotay also asked Kathryn to come with him to dispel the gloom in his quarters on Voyager, and to perform an act of cleansing together. He didn't want to take up the Captaincy with the shadow of what happened hanging over his quarters. She willingly obliged.

Then, in mid-August Seven dropped a bombshell. They were contacted by Starfleet security with the message that she needed to speak to Chakotay urgently. He went off to neutral ground to talk to her via comm. link. He did not want to speak to her from Kathryn's apartment. He came back with his face as white as a sheet.

"Seven's pregnant," he told Kathryn.

"Oh my G-d! Is she sure?"

"She says she is."

"When did it happen?"

"Apparently, the night she assaulted me."

"Sh-t. Then she did manage to get you to go all the way..."

"I know," he answered miserably. "I'd hoped that she hadn't...maybe because I didn't want to face up to the fact that she had."

Kathryn put her arms around him in sympathy. "Oh Chakotay..."

"And now there's a baby to consider."

"I know how much that means to you."

"I wanted your baby not hers."

"I know. When is it due?"

"Early March. This is just like Seska...maybe worse because it hurts you too."

"Do you think she planned it...like Seska did?"

"I'm sure she planned it. Maybe she got the idea from Seska. She must have heard the rumours. Knew it was the one thing that would bring me back to her...because I can't abandon her..at least I can't abandon my child."

"I know."

"I'll have to support her, although she'll find out soon that it doesn't mean I going to resume our relationship."

"G-d, she's manipulative."

"She wants to see me."

"You must be careful. Never be alone with her. The restraining order should stand and you should only see her on neutral ground with a third person in the room. You can insist on that."

"Yes...you're right. I will."

"And I don't think I should be the other person. It will only make matters worse."

"I'll contact the legal department and insist that this is the only way I am prepared to see her."

"She won't like it."

"No, she won't."

"Perhaps you should insist on a paternity test."

"You're right. After what Seska did..." his voice trailed off.

"Don't you have a contraceptive implant?" she wondered.

"I'm intolerant. I'm as fertile as they come." Kathryn paled at this, but he did not notice.

"And where does that leave us?"

He took her hands in his. "Hopefully, it leaves us exactly where we were. I still want to marry you in four weeks' time. I love you, and I think I will have to be very firm with Seven that she's not going to come between us. A baby complicates things, and I know I can't expect you take this all on, but I hope and pray that you will...because I love you so much."

"And what about our plans to start a family?"

He looked at her with glazed eyes. "Let's not allow Seven to interfere with our plans. I want a child with you, Kathryn, more than anything. So go to the Doc...get your contraception neutralised...just as we agreed."

Kathryn nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Over the next two weeks, Chakotay met Seven at Starfleet Medical several times, supervised by not one, but two security staff. They sat at a table at one end of the room, while the security staff stood at the other end trying to give them some semblance of privacy. It felt like prison visiting.

Seven was very angry and vented her frustration at not being alone with him. Her complaints got louder the more she realised that he wasn't going to cave in. He made it clear to her that he was with Kathryn now and that there was no way that he would resume their former relationship. He would support her and help her with the baby...even take custody of it, if she wanted.

Seven was livid, throwing tantrums like a two year old that could not get its own way. Several visits were punctuated by shouting and even throwing objects round the room. Chakotay was very worried about her sanity, but it reinforced the decision that he dare not be alone with her. She was too volatile.

All the while, Kathryn was very supportive and sympathetic when he got home, listening with horror to his recounting of Seven's behaviour. She offered what quiet reassurance she could. Now over the initial shock, they were both determined to come to terms with the difficult situation this had brought about.

On the fifth such visit, Seven duly produced the results of the paternity test he'd asked for. She handed over documents with the results of DNA testing. It stated that there was a healthy male foetus and that the identity of the father was Chakotay with virtually one hundred percent certainty. The dates were right for conception to have been the night of their misadventure. It dashed Chakotay's hope that this all might have been some terrible mistake. He had always wanted to be a father, and a part of him wanted this. But his feelings were mixed. He wanted Kathryn to be the baby's mother. He had been through all this hell before with Seska, but at least this time he knew for sure the baby was his. Seska's baby had turned out to be Maj Cullah's. There was also a chip containing a holographic version of the foetus as it currently was, with projections for how he would look at birth and at three years old. They had both gazed at it in wonder.

He took the documents and chip home with him and told Kathryn about the test results. He did not show her the holograms...he did not want to inflict that on her. He thought she was a little quiet, and he worried about her too. Was this putting too much strain on their relationship? Ever since Seven had dropped her news on them, it had cast a shadow over their relationship, no matter how hard they both tried to ignore it.

* * *

Seven's behaviour seemed to get worse. One day he came home full of dread as to how Kathryn would react to Seven's latest demand.

"She wants us to postpone the wedding," he explained to Kathryn. Actually, Seven had said '_cancel the wedding_', but there was no way Chakotay was going to use those precise words.

"Chakotay? You can't be serious... You told her **no**?" Chakotay didn't answer, but he looked sheepish. "You didn't tell her **no**?"

"Kathryn, she threatened to abort unless I agreed."

"We can't let her manipulate us like this. She's taking back control."

"Yes, she is...but I can't take the risk. This might be my only chance to be a father."

"I sincerely hope you don't believe that."

"I still can't sanction the death of my child."

"You said you wouldn't let her come between us..."

"I know...it's only postponed....we can get married later when she's calmed down."

"She will never calm down about this. That day will never come. She will never give her consent for us to marry. Never." Chakotay looked at the floor in despair. He knew Kathryn was right. "Nor should we need her consent."

"What can I do?" he pleaded. "What would you have me do?"

"I don't know....but listen to me carefully, Chakotay. If you postpone our wedding, it will **never** take place."

"Don't say that, Kathryn."

Kathryn looked daggers at him. "You know it's true."

"You'd let me run the risk of killing my child?" he countered.

"Maybe she's bluffing."

"I can't take that risk. Couldn't we elope? Run away to Risa or something? On the way to Trebus? We can keep it quiet. She need never know."

"The invitations have gone out, for goodness' sake. Besides, do you really think she'll let you go to Trebus?" Kathryn asked in disbelief.

"I've told her we're going to Trebus. She wants to come too."

"Now wouldn't that just be dandy? Take Seven with us on our honeymoon?" she said derisively.

"I told her **no**."

"Well, thank heavens for small mercies."

"She's under court restriction anyway, until she faces the board of enquiry. She can't leave earth."

"I don't see that she'll let you go...she can hold this over you forever..."

"Well at least until the baby's born."

"Give in to her now, and she will try to control you for the rest of your life."

Chakotay looked at her miserably, because he knew she was right.

He spent a sleepless night on the sofa, and in the morning he was surprised to find Kathryn dressed in civilian clothes on a work day.

She explained that she was going away to think things through. She couldn't take much more of this stress, she said tearfully. She asked him if he was going to postpone the wedding.

"I don't have a choice," he'd answered.

Kathryn nodded her acceptance sadly. " You can take care of the arrangements. It's your mess." Then she left.


	8. Chapter 8

He went to work without her and spent a thoroughly awful day, failing miserably to concentrate, and fielding curious questions from the other team members. It seemed she'd taken indefinite leave of absence, which rather held up progress on the Borg project anyway. He couldn't bring himself to call the wedding venue and cancel. His heart wasn't in it. He had only ten days' grace. He couldn't bear to go near Seven either, no matter how badly she might react to his non-appearance. He pondered on the possibility of contacting Starfleet legal and attempting to take out an injunction preventing her from aborting. He feared it would make matters worse.

Sadly, he reflected that Seven was actually winning the battle to split Kathryn and him up.

He went back to the apartment that evening with a kernel of hope that Kathryn might be there, but that was dashed as soon as he entered the yawning empty space. He didn't know where she had gone...he hoped to her mother's...and she wasn't responding to his messages begging forgiveness. He spent another two sleepness nights before the weekend arrived. On the Saturday morning, he contacted B'Elanna sounding somewhat distressed and she immediately invited him over.

On arrival, B'Elanna immediately packed Tom off with Miral and listened to his sorry, sordid tale. The news that Seven was pregnant was a complete shock to her.

"She asked you to cancel the wedding?"

"Yes."

"And how did Kathryn react to that?"

"She took it badly. Packed her bags and left. I don't know where she's gone. She told me that if I postponed the wedding it would never happen."

"She's right. Kahless, how could you do that to her? She's already cancelled two weddings. It's about the worst thing you could have done."

"You think?"

"Chakotay, you are stupid sometimes. It was the last thing you should have done to Kathryn. Seven probably knew it too...you're letting Seven win."

Chakotay buried his head in his hands. He didn't need B'Elanna to tell him that. "I know...but what can I do?"

"You have seen the paternity test, have you? This isn't some other trick of Seven's?"

Chakotay lifted his head, a seed of something tickling his mind. "Yes...the baby is mine."

"Did you go with her for the scan?"

"No...I have only been with her under supervision at the security facility."

"Could she have forged it?"

"She might..." Chakotay began to hope.

"Because I've had a few conversations with Icheb. The Borg do awful things to their drones. I thought they removed ovaries. I'm wondering how Seven could possibly have gotten pregnant without some significant genetic programming. She would have had to have medical help."

"Then, this is no accident...she engineered it."

"Or forged it. Chakotay we need some answers. Who did the test?"

"The EMH," Chakotay responded, rising to pace the room, energised by the possibility that this might all be part of Seven's vendetta against him.

"Well, we all know how susceptible he is to manipulation...particularly where Seven is involved."

* * *

They called up Starfleet Medical to find that the Doctor was in surgery but would see them at lunchtime.

Then they took themselves off to the unit via Kathryn's apartment, in order to pick up Seven's paternity documents and the holochip.

When the Doctor greeted them, they asked for some privacy, so he took them into an assessment room. Chakotay explained that he needed clarification of the test results. Were they forged or genuine? Was Seven truly pregnant? B'Elanna chipped in that she didn't think Seven could get pregnant without medical intervention.

The Doctor looked at them undecided. "I really should respect doctor/patient confidentiality here."

"Doctor, I'm the baby's father. I have a right to have these results explained to me. Did you perform these tests?"

The Doctor nodded. "I imagine you do have a right to know...I did perform the tests and the results are genuine. You are the father of a healthy male foetus. I suppose I ought to congratulate you."

Chakotay sank into a chair. This was a blow, even though he wanted to be a father. He just wanted this nightmare to go away.

"Then Seven did steal DNA from me in some form or other. The dates are right?"

"The dates are right," the Doctor confirmed. "However, I regret to say that Seven has breached security here...much to my own distress. B'Elanna, I entreat you to investigate how she did it."

Chakotay jumped up. "Then she did steal my DNA. Did she trick you into impregnating her somehow?"

"No," replied the Doctor calmly. "You misunderstand. Seven isn't pregnant. You are right, B'Elanna, to think that she couldn't get pregnant in the normal way, although I hesitate to reveal that to you."

"Seven isn't pregnant?"

"Not to my knowledge and I am certain she would have told me," the Doctor answered. "She has not consulted me for medical reasons except about her fail-safe device since we reached earth."

B'Elanna and Chakotay gazed at each other in incomprehension.

"Doctor, if this isn't forged and Seven isn't pregnant...how do you explain these?" Chakotay asked, holding out the paternity documents and the holochip. "You said you took the scan."

"I did. Seven has clearly hacked into the database and somehow stolen this to give to you. This is a genuine scan that I have performed," the Doctor clarified, activating a beautiful image of a growing male foetus. "The only thing that has been tampered with...is the mother's name. You got a woman pregnant that night, Captain, but it wasn't the one you thought."

Chakotay opened and closed his mouth several times. "Kathryn's pregnant?" he queried in wonder. It was the only possible explanation.

"You know I can't possibly confirm that. Doctor/patient confidentiality," the Doctor said smugly.

"But I'm the father."

"Well, Captain, I'm sure you can figure out with whom you've had sexual relations."

"But she never said anything..." Chakotay just couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"She never suspected...not until you apparently told her that you didn't have a contraceptive implant."

"Hasn't she got an implant?"

"Well, we all know how bad a certain person is at coming regularly for her physicals. Let's just say its usefulness had long since expired."

"Chakotay," B'Elanna interrupted gently, "you need to go and find Kathryn. Leave the Doctor and me to deal with the consequences to Seven. She will have to be taken back into custody. She's violated the terms of her release and broken the restraining orders big time. This isn't going to go down well for her. She's unlikely to get much leniency at a court martial. But you don't have to have anything to do with her again."

"Oh hell...I've tried to cancel a wedding to stop Seven aborting a foetus...that didn't even exist?"

"For goodness' sake go! Make things right with Kathryn," B'Elanna ordered.


	9. Chapter 9

Chakotay tore out of the Starfleet campus on a mission to save his relationship with his former commanding officer. He wondered how on earth Kathryn could have walked out the other day without telling him about the baby. He rushed over to Indiana, hoping that she was staying with her mother. She wasn't, but at least Gretchen was willing to tell him where she was. She was at the family cabin up at Lake George. On the way back to the transporter station, B'Elanna commed to update him as to what was happening to Seven. She had been re-arrested and was apparently being more co-operative this time.

The Janeway cabin was a half hour walk from the nearest transporter station, and it gave him a chance to calm down and think about what he would say. He was really feeling a little nervous about the kind of reception he would get.

As he approached, he saw her on the veranda, staring out across the lake. She didn't waver, she didn't turn...didn't acknowledge his approach in any way. She knew he was coming, he decided. Gretchen must have called her.

He drew up to her and she still didn't turn. He hesitated again, wondering how to begin the conversation, but to his amazement she spoke first.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay."

He was surprised at this admission. What had she to be sorry about? He was the one that needed to apologise.

"I didn't react too well when you wanted to postpone the wedding."

"You had every right. I should never have done that to you. With your history, it was cruel. I'm the one who should be sorry....and I am." She turned troubled eyes towards him. He crouched down beside her and reached his hand to rest on her belly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Her eyes cleared. "I'm sorry about that too. You had every right to know. And I really didn't find out until after you told me about Seven. I didn't want to complicate things. You were so strung out by Seven's pregnancy, that I didn't want you to be torn. And I didn't want you choosing me for the contents of my womb."

"I would never do that. Surely you know how much I love you by now."

"Anyway, I am sorry I ran. Blame the hormones."

Chakotay smiled. "Is everything alright? With you and the baby?"

"Everything's fine. He's very healthy."

"Kathryn, this is a dream come true. I can't believe we got pregnant our first time...How lucky is that?"

Kathryn grinned and leaned towards him. "Some couples are just ultra-compatible apparently. And your little swimmers, it seems, are super fertile."

Chakotay felt a wash of male pride. "But you still did a paternity test?"

"I went for a pregnancy test...that was just a by-product. Although I did need to check it wasn't Will's for my own peace of mind. I hadn't thought for a second that it was...Will and I at least did have the sensible conversation that we should have had, and his contraceptive is fully functional. I can't believe that an Admiral and a Captain could be so stupid as to not have that conversation before doing the deed. We acted like a couple of ignorant teenagers experimenting for the first time. Why didn't we have that conversation? Are we idiots?"

Chakotay stood up, walked around her and took a seat next to her. He was feeling relieved at the way the conversation was going, so he reached out and tentatively took her hand in his.

"I'd like to think that we didn't have that conversation because deep down we were both hoping something like this might happen. If the cosmos deigned to bestow on us a conception sooner rather than later, then who are we to argue? We would embrace it whole-heartedly and count it as a blessing."

Kathryn worked her lips together thoughtfully. "So we're okay about it?"

"We're more than okay about it. We're ecstatic," he admitted, squeezing her hand affectionately.

"Despite the mess everything is in?"

"Seven's not pregnant," he offered.

"She...what???"

"It was all some twisted vindictive plot to break us up. She stole your scan....the scan of our baby, Kathryn. How could she do something so despicable?"

"Oh...sh-t!" Kathryn flung her head back on the chair.

"Apparently, she couldn't get pregnant without medical intervention anyway. She's been taken into custody and they're detaining her under mental health directives now. She won't be let out in a hurry and she's being much more co-operative this time because the Doctor's with her. She seems to be listening at last."

"She needs help."

"Yes, she does. She's agreeing to have her fail-safe device reactivated, because she's looking at a significant custodial sentence otherwise."

"Well..good. Maybe it will stabilise her. What was she planning to do? She couldn't hide her non-pregnancy forever."

"Plan A was to actually get pregnant...she'd been seeing some other doctor about facilitating that. She still needed some form of DNA from me, but that was thwarted by the fact that she never had a chance to be alone to me. Plan B was to either abort or lose the non-existent foetus."

"Damn...she is manipulative."

"Too right. Also, she's admitted to the investigating team that she wasn't able to get a rise out of me the night of the assault, so I can stop having nightmares about that."

Kathryn took him into her arms. "Oh Chakotay, you must be so relieved."

"I am. You, my dear, must have thoroughly exhausted my man parts already. Milked me dry with the most delightfully unexpected result. I was spent out on you and I thank the spirits for it."

"Is this all my fault, do you think? Should I have let her go back to the Borg, as you advised me at the time?"

"No, Kathryn. You did the right thing severing her from the collective. She had come a long way before her fail-safe was deactivated. And I'm certain that she would say the same thing, even in her current mental state."

"Let's hope she gets the help she needs...even though it can't be from us."

"No, we need never see Seven again."

"You have terrible choice in women."

Chakotay pulled back and looked her in the eye. "No, I don't. I'm looking at the most beautiful, sensual, exciting woman between here and the Delta Quadrant...and she's still considering walking down the aisle with me next weekend."

"Is she now?"

"Yes...and rumour has it that she's knocked up. This wonderful woman is going to be the mother of my child."

After a few shy exchanges of smiles, Kathryn asked, "Did you cancel the wedding venue?"

"Nope. I hadn't the heart to, although the caterers have left about thirty messages asking us to finalise numbers."

"The flights to Trebus?"

"Nope. Did you tear up your dress?"

"No!" she laughed. "Although I may have to get it let out a bit."

"Told all your family not to bother coming?"

"No."

"Devastated Naomi by telling her she can't have her starring moment, after all?"

"No. No. No."

"Looks like the wedding's on then, and we can get married without this cloud over our heads."

Kathryn studied him for a moment then stood up. "Let's call the caterers. Then maybe we can take the boat out on the lake. There are still several hours of daylight left."

"I can think of something more interesting I'd rather be doing."

"I'm sure you can...but right now I would rather enjoy some bracing fresh air. I'm still deciding whether to let you sleep in my bed again."

"Oh, you will."

"Will I now?"

"It's going to be a pretty dull honeymoon otherwise."


	10. Epilogue: Trebus

Chakotay watched his wife of six days paddling in a lake. She held her skirt in her hands to keep it out of the water. Her long auburn hair was hiding her face from his view, so he couldn't see her features. She appeared to be studying the reflections in the water. There was a definite swelling in her belly now. Had it grown in the last week?

The lake was calm and cool, with red brown rocks rising majestically from three sides and glinting in the hot sun. There was a shallow muddy sandy area here on the fourth side, which made access to the lake easier and the ground underfoot more comfortable to walk on. Here was the perfect place from which to enjoy the water. Behind him was the detritus of another delicious picnic he had lovingly prepared.

Kathryn had embraced Trebus whole-heartedly, despite the oppressive heat. She had befriended the people and listened with interest to the elders weaving their tales. She had indulged in the local food and joined enthusiastically in the evening fireside dances. She had got on with his sister Sekaya like a house on fire, and he knew she would be up for making love this afternoon in these wonderful surroundings with no-one else around to ruin their privacy.

It crossed his mind that Seven would have hated all this. She wouldn't have fitted in at all. He wondered idly whether Kathryn might consider reconnecting with Seven in the future. She always felt such great responsibility for the former drone, and reports from the Doctor indicated that she was making good progress now that she was accepting the appropriate treatment. Kathryn might be prepared to take the risk, if assured that Seven's behaviour was under control, because she always had a massive capacity for forgiveness. It was just one of the reasons he loved her so. The simple fact that she was his wife, after all that had been said and done, was testament enough to her generous spirit. She might be prepared to forgive Seven one day. He knew he never would.

Then he berated himself for letting Seven flit into his mind at all. Couldn't he be rid of her at last? Couldn't he dispel the cloud once and for all? He had had many terrible experiences in his life, and he learned long ago to seize happiness where he could and strive not to let the bad ones pull him down. He had every intention of being a devoted husband and father from now on. Other things, even his career and Voyager, would come second to his family in future.

No, these gloomy thoughts wouldn't do. Seven had no right to impinge upon his happiness. He was on his honeymoon, after all, and he felt as if he were eighteen again. He sprang up, threw off his clothes and ran shrieking into the lake, balls swinging, just as he would have done in his youth. He began kicking water at Kathryn, who retreated in laughter to prevent her own clothes becoming sodden. He dived deep, and, when he resurfaced, he saw Kathryn swimming towards him. Her own clothes were now in a heap beside his.

As she neared him, she dived down and pulled him under the water with her.

They broke the surface again laughing. As he took her naked form into his arms, he pushed the wet strands of hair from her face. He kissed her soundly on the lips, his heart swelling with happiness.

After everything that had happened, all the disasters and heartache, in the end there was one simple truth. He had married the right woman.


End file.
